Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Discovering the Obamagasm

Obama scores well in second post-inauguration poll; scores even better in third and fourth:

Ask the people if they like their new president and if they think he's doing a good job, and you are likely to be answered with smiles, cheers, "woot woot"s, fainting, speaking in tongues and other such positive reactions. This is known as the Obamagasm, and as the polls show, there seems to be no shortness of citizens who are capable of having multiple Obamagasms in a short period of time.

Having only a week's experience behind him in the Oval Office, Mr. Obama has the vast majority of the American people convinced that he can do this job, and do it well.

"He has given me hope and change in the shortest time frame ever," said Obama supporter Liz Babbit between convulsions of joy. "I can feel the shackles of George Bush falling from my being!"

Obama scored a 63% approval rating among those polled in Tuesday's poll. Only 9% felt that he was doing a poor job (it must be noted that these 9% also admitted to being incapable of feeling emotion and also lacked the sense of smell).

A few hours later, people were polled again and Obama's approval rating had jumped to 71%. When asked what could lead to such a rise in so short amount of time, Robert Gibbs, Obama's press secretary, revealed that Obamagasms often intesify the third and fouth times around. "When you love Barack with such severity, you can't help but find yourself approving more and more of his actions. Each smile, each wave, each executive order signed, each Blackberry message sent... it overwhelms you with a feeling of confidence in his presidency."

Indeed, when pollsters sent out a fourth inquiry in the same day, the approval rating jumped again, this time to an historic 94%. Many of those polled had lost the ability to speak and even more would just scream, "Change, oh change! Change... cha... cha... cha... CHAAAAAAAAAAANGE!"

Oxford historian Dr. Fletcher Fleming acknowledged that "never in the history of human kind have a people been so satisfied for so little work done by their superiors. Obama is truly a great leader if he can inspire such adoration after only a week."

Barack Obama is expected to declare a perpetual state of emergency to release the funds necessary for providing emergency staff for the millions of people that will likely lose consciousness next week during one of his weekly addresses.

1 comment:

  1. This is great. Who knew it was possible for a President of the US to have such high approval ratings- and Obama accomplished it after only one week! I can't even imagine how high they will be after 2 weeks!