Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Follow Up to the Viking Coup

This article is a follow up to the Icelandic Government Falls report from Monday.

With billions of English pounds frozen in Icelandic banks, Thorvaldsen expalins that Iceland's newfound viking glory is off to a rocking start.

"Sure. We can sail and plunder with the best of 'em. Our blood insists that it be so. But we have also sailed our boats right into the financial sector. Sometimes we like to become a hot spot for foreign investment. Thats what we've done with England. We'll get all this money and then just let our banks fail. It is a lot easier than getting in a boat, and sometimes it is really cold outside.

When asked about the diplomatic standoff with England, Thorvaldsen said that bloodletting is the birthright of Viking sailors and says that if the English don't allow Iceland to kill the English ambasador first, they will sack York just like they did all those years ago.

"You know," continues Thorvaldsen, "During the 'Cod Wars' the English called us all sorts of nasty stuff. And this is payback as far as I'm concerned."

When asked about Japanese whaling rights in Icelandic waters, Thorvald became visibly excited.

"Imagine this scenario if you will." He explains. "The Japanese pay us all this money to satisfy their taste for whale. Now after they harvest the whales we will simply pilage their ships as they leave port and sell our plunder back to them with a 25% markup from daily Japanese whale market values."

In a random note, Thorvaldsen said that Hilary Swank is not "hot" and he thinks the writers need to make their way back to Jim and Pam.

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