Monday, January 26, 2009

Iceland Government Falls, spells doom for international waterways

The Icelandinc government has fallen:

What is not being reported here is that a reactionary political faction has sworn to take over in Reykjavik and restore Iceland to it's former glory. Number one on the agenda: the organization of Viking pillagers.

"We have long abandoned our cultural heritage in favor of a Western Civilzation style of government," said Thorvald Thorvaldsen, leader of the Viking Peoples Front. "It's time to go back to what we did best: Pillaging and Plundering."

The Icelanders are not content, however, with dominating only the Northern and Atlantic waterways surrounding Europe. They plan to extend their influence globally--especially at the hotbed of the Horn of Africa.

"Those Somalians... they think they're soooo good at being pillagers and pirates," explains Thorvaldsen. "These bozos need GPS, outboard motors and automatic weapons to get the job done. Back in the day, our people would row longships with one hand while gulping a goblet of mead in the other, and we could sack a whole village with our bare hands if we wanted to. Just imagine what we could do with only a fraction of the Somali's technology!"

Thorvaldsen hopes to have his fleet of braided blonde berzerkers ready by Summer, whereupon they will meet the Somalian pirates head on.

"The battle will be legendary, and our victory will solidify our dominance of the global waterways. Iceland shall be great once again."

Iceland has only truly been independent since 1944, when it voted to break from Denmark, their mother nation. When Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Prime Minister of Denmark, was asked how he felt about the collapse of the Icelandic regime and the ensuing threat of a Viking usurpation of power, Mr. Rasmussen replied, "Iceland had a government?"

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