Wednesday, February 18, 2009

George Bush and Tony Blair Addicted to Online ‘Risk’

Ex-Heads of State, George W. Bush and Tony Blair have formed a unique partnership outside of the political arenas as they spend more and more time together playing online ‘Risk.’ The former President and Prime Minister have explored new ways to spend their time away from the pressures of running a country while still getting the same exhilaration from military conquest. The lack of oversight and Geneva Accords has been a therapeutic way for both Bush and Blair to cope with the letdown of leaving office,

“Man, I love this game!” said the former President excitedly. “I spend about 4 hours a day just planning strategy and learning the correct pronunciation of all the regions on the map. And then I spend another 4 hours just playing the game. I usually lose but I am still a newcomer in the broad scope of things.”

The former Prime Minister of Great Britain was not to be outdone in his enthusiasm for the game. “I was up all night trying to decide if I should attack Siberia from China or from Yakutsk. I just would not want to spread my armies too thin in the east. Hmmm…I think I will try attacking from the south next time.”

Even though the two have had tremendous fun playing the game there are some changes each would make. Former President Bush says that a whole bunch of countries are just bunched up together and called the “Middle East”

“Where is Iran?” exclaimed W. “I want to stick it to Iran, not the entire Middle East. If I had my way, Iran would be its own spot on the map and I would put about 30 troops in India every time I played just so I could destroy them.”

“But this is much cheaper,” continued the former Chief Executive. “It only cost me $19.99 to download the game which is only like .00000000003% of the Iraq war.”

Mr. Blair has a few complaints about the game as well. “I wish there was an ambassador function for the game; then nations could attempt to resolve conflicts in peace (Western Europe would always attempt this). And then I could ignore those pleas for peace and destroy them anyway! That and I would like to not have to do everything Bush says all the time.”

Despite these minor game flaws the two seem content to spend their golden years determining strategy and forming partnerships towards world domination.

“You know who would have been a great asset against the War on Terror?” explains W. “RiskMaven087. This guy really knows his stuff and it pains me that I did not meet him sooner. Being the President of the United States is not about making friends, but I have made friends for life playing online ‘Risk.’”

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