Friday, February 27, 2009

Yanni charged with conspiracy to commit terrorism

Greek-born new age musician Yanni has been arrested after authorities discovered documentation in his Santorini villa revealing a scheme targeting US officials.

Yanni’s plot included plans to use his music to lull high-ranking members of the US government into a coma-like sleep, whereupon he would steal the “football” and sell it to the highest bidder on the black market.

“I didn’t think they would have ever suspected me,” an emotionless Yanni told reporters as he was led to a detention center. “My hair is just too nice. It’s clean, and it shines brilliantly against the Mediterranean sun. I use Pantene for crying out loud. How many terrorists do you know that use Pantene? There’s not a soul in all of Iran whose hair has as much body or sheen as mine.”

More on this as it develops.

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