Thursday, March 19, 2009

Embarrassed White House Chef Borrows Eggs from Neighbors

A situation arose today at the White House when the culinary staff ran out of eggs and was unable to cook breakfast for Malia and Sasha Obama. The Obamas instituted a nonnegotiable house rule upon moving in that their children must be fed a proper breakfast before school each morning. This task was given to head cook Julian Miller and until this morning the chef had come through in spades for children.

Early this morning as Julian was taking inventory of food stocks the cook noticed that they had run out of eggs. With ‘scrambled eggs’ firmly embedded in the menu the chef met the children in the hallway and asked if they wanted waffles instead.

“The kids had been looking forward to scrambled eggs but they agreed to waffles instead,” said Julian. “It was only moments later that I remembered that waffles require eggs too.”

At this point, Julian made a mad dash down Pennsylvania Avenue to the first set of apartments he came to. Megan Wright, who resides in apartment #114, answered the door.

“I was just getting ready to leave for the morning when this crazy chef starts banging on my door,” explained Wright. “He demanded that I hand over 6 eggs under order of the White House Culinary Staff. It figures after all the taxes I pay they would come after my eggs too. I bet they won’t even let me write this off.”

With eggs in tow, Julian made it back to the kitchens just in time to send the kids off to school with a breakfast of hot waffles. But the mishap did not go unnoticed by President Obama.

The President, who is a fan of scrambled eggs, always comes to breakfast early on mornings when they are on the menu. When the President was served waffles in their place he pursued the matter further.

“Yeah, I got a bit of a reprimand,” admitted Julian. “The President reminded me that the new stimulus package allocated $84 million for eggs in the White House, and that running out was simply unconscionable.”

The President also feels that the $16.2 million invested in obtaining the perfect scrambled egg recipe was put to waste by Julian. At a time when CEO’s across the country are being grilled for their improper use of government issued bailout funds the President can ill afford to have such a scandal arise in his own house.

Tomorrow’s breakfast menu calls for quiche and it is unknown whether Julian has gotten any more eggs.

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